On today’s episode of Real, Brave, & Unstoppable I’m talking about how to slow down and enjoy life, and why it’s important to realize that you’re not here to get your whole life’s work done in one season. 

You gotta take time to slow down and enjoy life while you’re working on your “life’s work”!

As I was hiking over the weekend, looking at all of the brown, crunchy leaves on the ground, it occurred to me that nature just knows when it’s time to take time to let things rest.  In the fall, nature knows that it needs time to recharge and rejuvenate so it can give birth to newness in the spring.

So why is it that we get honed in to what we want in life and get frustrated that we can’t get it all done now? 

Life doesn’t work that way.  We’re on this planet to do a life’s work, but we’re meant to do it over the course of a lifetime. Not a single season. 

Listen to this episode for more thoughts on this and a couple of ways you can take time to slow down and enjoy the ride.

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Let’s Chat!

If you’re feeling frustrated with your life – maybe you feel stuck, or impatient, or just don’t have any time to yourself – I can help. Schedule a Clarity Call today!

During this 45-minute call, you’ll get clarity on what you want most in your life, contrasted with what it looks like now. I’ll give you some suggestions on how to close that gap, and if it seems like a good fit, I can share with you what it might look like to work together.

There is no obligation to purchase anything on this call! The whole point is for you to get some clarity on what the next steps are for you in your life. This call alone could be life-changing!

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Transcript

Ep 71: Slow Down and Enjoy Life

[00:00:00] Hello, friends. And welcome back to Real, Brave, & Unstoppable. I hope you’re enjoying your week so far. Mine is going well. It’s very productive.

[00:00:13] Productive is always good. Right?

[00:00:15] Today on the podcast I’m going to talk about slowing down and enjoying life. About the idea that we’re here on this planet for a lifetime, obviously, and we’re here to do a life’s work – over a lifetime and not just in a season. And so many of us, I think get frustrated or impatient because we just want things to be finished in a season of our lives. We want to arrive. We want to get to the destination.

[00:00:46] So I want to talk about that today on the podcast. And I think it’s pretty timely actually, just to kind of talk about patience and slowing down since, Thanksgiving is in a week. And that means that the busy holiday season is upon us. Very soon. But before I get into the episode, I just want to make an announcement. If you are local to the DC area,

[00:01:12] I’m going to be doing a Black Friday opt outside hike and mini retreat. So if you’re in the area, please come! but I would love to see you there. I have only have 12 spots available, so if that sounds like fun to you , if it sounds like a good way to spend Black Friday instead of out shopping and dealing with

[00:01:37] crowds, then you should definitely join me. We’re going to talk about, the challenging holiday season and some ways that you can kind of rethink how you navigate the holidays and some changes you can make so that you really have the holiday season that is aligned with who you are.

[00:02:04] We’ll talk about some strategies for saying no, or trimming some things off your to-do list, and things like that. So that’s going to be a great topic of conversation, and it’s also going to be a great time for you to learn from other people, some of their strategies. And I have a few of my own to share too.

[00:02:24] So, yes, if you’re local, join us for that hike.

Second announcement is I’m going to have a fun Black Friday weekend promotion.  I’m not going to give you all the details right now… this is just a teaser. It’s a little behind the scenes teaser. But I have a great promo offer for something that you will definitely want to consider. Well, not consider you’ll definitely want

[00:02:50] to get in on for when you start the new year. Get the new year started off right. So, make sure you get on my email list. If you’re not already on that to get the latest details of that. You can go to https://kortneyrivard.com/lovelife to sign up for a free eBook that will also be helpful this time of the year. You get the free eBook, and you’ll also get on my email list.

[00:03:19] I send out an awesome email every week. There’s a lot of great information as well as weekly journal prompts and a link to the latest podcast episode. It also contains other news, other promotions, and kinds of things like that. So definitely get on that list so you can be the first to know about that black Friday weekend sale.

[00:03:44] Okay. So, we got all that business taken care of.

 So, I’ve been doing a lot of hiking lately. Well, I mean, I’m always doing a lot of hiking. But lately I just got back from an epic trip to Sedona, Arizona. I went there to do some hiking and also to scope out retreat venues and other outdoorsy activities for a retreat. (And make sure you also stay tuned because I’m hoping to do a retreat in Sedona in the spring of 2022).

[00:04:16] There’s a lot of logistics things there so it’s possible that that will get pushed to later in the year. Stay tuned for details because no matter where it is, it’s going to be awesome.

But anyway, I just got back on Saturday. Really late,

[00:04:36] and I got home and realized that I didn’t have a key. The petsitter left the key on the table inside the house. I didn’t have a key, so I was locked out. That was really great to come home to!

But anyway, thank God my daughter has a key in her backpack and she was at her dad’s house who only lives like five minutes from me. So, I was able to go get the key from her dad.

[00:05:17] It was like 11 o’clock at night. So thankfully he was still awake. Otherwise, I don’t know what I would have done.

[00:05:22] But I got home late, and I was alone for the rest of the weekend because my boyfriend was out of town for work. And my daughter was with her dad for the weekend, so I decided on Sunday to do one of my favorite hikes—actually at Sugarloaf mountain, which is where we’re going to do the Black Friday hike. And it was so gorgeous.

[00:05:39] There’s still color on the trees, but there’s also a ton of leaves on the ground that have fallen. And a lot of them are crunchy and brown. It’s so interesting because they’re really beautiful in their own, right even though they’ve turned brown and are all crinkly and crunchy.

[00:05:57] But it seemed that everywhere I looked as I was hiking there was so much evidence of nature just getting ready to take a break. Like things are turning brown. Leaves are falling from the trees. It’s cold. The animals are going into hibernation. Those little wooly bear caterpillars…

[00:06:14] Like when I run in the fall and it’s warm there just like scurrying across the path. Right. But then when it gets cold, it’s like they can’t move anymore. They kind of go dormant or whatever they do in the winter.

[00:06:25] Thank God, the snakes take a break. Right? Mom. I know you’re listening…aren’t you glad about that too.

[00:06:32] I was running like maybe a month ago on the path near my house. And it was one of those warm, like October 70-degree days. There was this giant black snake going across the path. Oh my God. Yuck. Anyway. So, it occurred to me that nature knows when it needs to take a break so it can regenerate and be ready to go again when it’s time.

[00:06:54] Nature knows that it has a life purpose to fulfill. And so, it gracefully accepts those changes with each season.

[00:07:02] So how about you? Do you embrace the changes in each season? And when I say season, I don’t necessarily mean that literally. I’m talking about the seasons as far as weather goes right now, but also the different seasons in your life, like different life stages or different periods of your life that have a theme.

[00:07:23] Where in your life do you show up and want to have it all figured out right now? Or where do you want to just power through even when you might need to take a little break to regenerate. To let things kind of to die off and grow again when it’s time.

[00:07:41] I know a lot of us, we just want to do all the things now. There’s no patience involved. So, think about that for just a second, whether you’re running or driving or walking, just sitting out and chilling, whatever it is. Think about this for a second. Where in your life are you impatient with how things are unfolding?

[00:08:01] Where do you want to have everything figured out and done now? Where in your life don’t you want to take a little space to let things recharge and regenerate? For me, I thought of a couple of examples and I’m going to share those with you.

[00:08:18] So, if you can’t think of anything, maybe these will help spur some ideas for you. The first one is related to my divorce and the rebuilding of my life that I’ve had to do or am still doing really? So, before my ex-husband and I split up,

[00:08:37] I had a pretty cushy life really. I had a gorgeous house. I still miss it. Side note: I accidentally had some shoes from Zappos delivered to the old house. And, the new owners – I guess she looked me up on Facebook and sent me a message. That said the shoes

[00:08:55] came to her house, and do I want to come pick them up? And I was like, no. I can’t do it. It’s been a long time, but I can’t come and see someone else living in my house right now. So, I don’t know how I’m going to get those shoes back! But anyway, that’s a side note. But it’s a gorgeous house. It’s on property that’s like two acres and it was so beautiful.

[00:09:18] I mean, I’m sure it still is beautiful, but it was like my dream home. My husband and I had built this life together that, while I may not have been living my best life, or I guess I should say I probably wasn’t living out my full purpose, but it was a nice life. Sure, there are things in our marriage that

[00:09:35] probably could have been better… I mean clearly because it didn’t work out. But it was a really nice life and I was pretty happy. He’s a lawyer and he makes a lot of money. I don’t.

[00:09:50] I’ve really had to rebuild my own career. Like really reinvent it. I knew that I did not want to go back to corporate cubicle life. I just knew that wasn’t what I’m here for. So sure, I could have taken the safe route and a lot of people thought (and probably still think) that I’m crazy for not going back to a job in engineering. I mean,

[00:10:10] that’s like super safe. Pays really well. You know, all the things. Instead, I chose to build a business from the ground up and a lot of people think that’s really crazy.

[00:10:22] But anyway, if I had taken the safe route, I would have been miserable.

[00:10:26] So now I have this dream of rebuilding financially, first of all, so I can own my own home again and have some of the things that I used to have, like being able to travel or have my own horse again, and things like that. Of course, it’s not all about the things, but after being financially dependent,

[00:10:49] after I left my engineering career. I really have started from ground zero. And there are some of these pieces that are just part of my dream. But it’s hard because it’s a long haul. It’s work over a long period of time. And I get impatient. I want to figure all of this out now because I feel a few things: Time is short. I can’t stop the clock from ticking. And it’s a struggle. I just want to be out of the struggle, you know? (And here’s the thing about that is I don’t know if we ever really are out of the struggle, it’s all our mindset about the struggle). So, side note there.

[00:11:30] And also my life is so different and there are so many dreams that are gone. There’s a life that just didn’t get to be lived because of what happened. There’s this whole other life that my ex-husband and I had started building and it just didn’t get to get lived out, which is frustrating. And so, I think about those things.

[00:11:52] And I just want to get the life’s work done now in a season. And sometimes I can forget to enjoy the journey of it. And I know that sounds cliche. But you just, you really have to. You have to be able to stop and be content with where you are or you’re not going to be happy.

[00:12:14] My second example is in my business. If you’re an entrepreneur, this will probably resonate with you in a big way. Being an entrepreneur is not for the faint of heart. Just going to tell you that right now. I’m sure you see stories of people making six figures in six weeks or, you know, building a seven-figure business like it’s a piece of cake.

[00:12:36] Well, it’s a lie. Maybe there are some people who can achieve their business dreams that fast, but I am definitely not one of them. And neither are any of the colleagues of mine who have been building their own businesses, right alongside of me. I have a huge vision for my company and my “why” is really freedom. I desire freedom. I desire simplicity in my life.

[00:13:04] Adventure. And joy really. Authenticity is another one. And so all of these things, they’ve helped me really zero in on, what am I here to do? And it’s not to sit in a cubicle. It’s to bring these qualities into my life, but also to help other people experience them too. So, I have this huge vision for my company and.

[00:13:32] it’s to empower women to love themselves, because I really believe that you have to do that before you can realize your purpose and feel like you are able to create your dream life.

[00:13:46] I want to help women get out of their comfort zone so they can get unstuck. I want to help them bring adventure into their lives because that helps build confidence and self-esteem, it’s super empowering.

[00:13:59] I want to help women drop the ideas of who they (or others) think they should be and embrace who they really are, to encourage them to have the courage to show up in the world as their real selves. Because real is beautiful.

[00:14:14] I want to build a community of women who are authentic and have the courage to show up in the world that way. I want to build a safe space for new friendships to be made and to be able to find support in living your best, most authentic life. I want to host transformational retreats all over the world, (stay tuned – like I said, for that first one that I’m hoping to do in Sedona in the spring).

[00:14:42] But in these retreats, I want to incorporate hiking and nature, the outdoors and a sense of adventure because that’s so confidence-building and empowering. And my bucket list, just as a side note for retreats, my big one is trekking in Nepal. Pretty cool. Hiking in the Swiss Alps. Africa.

[00:15:03] And a little closer to home: some of the national parks, Grand Canyon, Colorado, Montana, and Asheville, North Carolina is another one I’d love to do. So, so many options, so that’s a little sneak peek of like the vision that I have for what I do.

[00:15:20] And it’s really hard sometimes to start at the bottom. I just want to be able to impact people’s lives now, which I am doing, but it looks different now than I want it to look someday. So sometimes it’s just really hard to be patient with that because I want my vision to materialize.

[00:15:43] And sometimes, you know, it can be a struggle sometimes when you’re getting a business off the ground. And sometimes it’s hard to stay content in those early stages. Where your life’s work is not supposed to be anywhere near done. It’s supposed to be, just starting. So the work is just another leg of the journey.

[00:16:04] And I think that’s why it’s so easy to get overwhelmed or burned out for some of us. We go, go, go, go, go. And then we either get exhausted from the pace and we just crash or we get frustrated that all the hard work isn’t paying off. Or we don’t think it’s paying off. We’re just not allowing ourselves to see

[00:16:28] that what we’re doing is laying groundwork for what’s to come. And for some of you, it might be more of a procrastination thing. A life’s work feels so overwhelming. So you just don’t start. You have trouble taking action.

[00:16:45] Or maybe you’ve really started without exactly knowing it. Because everything is just a piece in the puzzle.

[00:16:55] So that’s my point here. We are here to do a life’s work over a lifetime, not a life’s work in a season.

[00:17:07] We need those seasons of rest in our lives to be able to have the energy to carry out our life’s purpose.

[00:17:19] And also know that as we work in each season of our life, we actually are accomplishing a lot. We’re accomplishing all of the necessary pieces that contribute to this body of work that we’re creating. Sometimes when we’re not seeing the results, we’re still accomplishing a lot, because like I said, there are all these little things that sometimes we don’t even notice that are, are pieces of the bigger puzzle.

[00:17:47] I suppose with this all boils down to is it’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey. I know that sounds cliche. We hear it all the time. But it’s so true.

[00:18:01] You know how, when you plan a trip, it’s so hard to wait for the time to come. When you take the trip. But the planning is so exciting. The days, weeks, months, whatever leading up to the trip are exciting. And that feeling of anticipation is so exciting. Then have you ever taken the trip? And come home and just felt kind of depressed, like almost kind of a letdown.

[00:18:25] Even if the trip was amazing. Maybe you even get a quote unquote what’s next kind of vibe going.

[00:18:33] Maybe you even get a what’s next kind of vibe going. I used to have that happen all the time.

[00:18:40] But I’ve actually learned how to let the excitement build in me. And at the same time, just be with it in a more calm, grounded way. So, I’m excited, but I’m also staying in the moment fully enjoying all of that. A feeling of anticipation and the planning too. Like when I took my trip to Sedona, I was really excited to go and I could have been just counting down the days, focused on the day of the trip being here,

[00:19:07] but I really was able to stay focused on each day that I was in and really enjoying the planning I was doing on that day. You know, like where I was going to stay, which hikes I was going to do, which woo-woo crystal shops I was going to visit, and all of those things. I enjoyed my life right up until the trip. I enjoyed my life, all of it.

[00:19:36] Of course, there are things that, you know, sometimes we don’t enjoy about our life, but right up until the trip

[00:19:48] I was staying in the moment. I didn’t have trip letdown because I lived in the moment the whole time I enjoyed my excitement, I let that really sit with me and reveled in that I love that feeling of being excited about something. But I knew that if I wanted the trip to come so badly, that that’s all I could focus on, that it would be here before I knew it. And it would be done before I knew it. So,

[00:20:19] part of that trip for me is that anticipation and that excitement.

[00:20:24] So in your own life, think of it that way. You have a purpose, maybe you know what it is, and maybe you don’t (something I can help you with by the way. Schedule a call). But that’s part of your life’s work too, to get still and let your purpose come to you. I really believe that our purpose here on this earth is to learn who we are.

[00:20:46] To learn to love that person and then live fully as who we’re meant to be. I think then our purpose really uncovers itself. It’s not something we have to figure out. It’s something that is just part of us. And when we find ourselves our purpose presents itself. Part of the journey is allowing for some uncertainty too.

[00:21:09] Part of it is allowing things to unfold slowly. You’re not supposed to have it all done in this season of your life. You’re just supposed to let what supposed to unfold, unfold in this season. And what unfolds might be rest. It might be rejuvenation and recharging. It might be like the trees losing their leaves and then getting ready to grow some new ones.

[00:21:36] So, what can you do to embrace this idea, especially if you’re someone who just wants to “arrive”. Well, that’s going to be different for everyone, but here’s what I would start with: I would start with trying on the idea that no one ever arrives. You don’t have a map for how to travel through your life, how to get to the end,

[00:21:58] or where any of the destinations along the way are. Really, you’re basically wandering, but you’re taking the next right step all the time.

[00:22:10] So, if you can try to remember that you don’t know what those out-in-the-future steps are yet focus on the next one. What are you supposed to do next? That helps a lot. And the other thing I would say is that working on letting go of the need to know how things are going to turn out. And try to let go of your attachment to how you want things to turn out.

[00:22:35] That’s what causes suffering my friends. Being attached to how things turn out. If you want things to go one way and you’re so attached to that, and then they don’t go that way, it’s pretty devastating. When you’re attached to that kind of stuff, it doesn’t allow you to let things unfold naturally.

[00:23:00] It doesn’t allow you to be open to different scenarios.

[00:23:06] And that’s one of the things for me that has been one of the greatest gifts in my life that I’ve learned from this whole divorce debacle –

[00:23:18] Learning how to just let go of being attached. It doesn’t mean you can’t be disappointed, but it just means that you’re allowing some space for other

[00:23:32] outcomes.

So to recap this, take some time to think about where in your life you are impatient with your life’s work. Where do you want to just skip ahead to all the steps in the future? Where are you impatient with wanting all the things to be done now?

[00:24:04] And maybe my couple of examples will have helped you. Think of something in your own life. But sometimes we just have to rest. We just have to slow down

[00:24:20] and give ourselves the space to let things unfold how they’re supposed to.

[00:24:25] Stop trying to manufacture it all. It never turns out well that way anyway. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

[00:24:36] Seriously though…

[00:24:37] Think about that. We all need seasons in our lives where we can take some time to just rest and let things recharge.

[00:24:55] And those seasons may be long, and they may be short. They may be just a day or a week. Or, you know, sometimes you might need a whole month to just really kind of chill out and it doesn’t mean you can’t do anything, but just kind of let things happen as they’re supposed to. Let things come to you. 

[00:25:33] All right. My friends, I hope you enjoyed this episode.

[00:26:28] So before I go. If you struggle with any of this at all, if you struggle with letting go and sort of letting things unfold how they’re supposed to. If you just want to control things all the time. If you’re having a hard time, just kind of being who you are or letting your purpose come to you.

[00:26:54] I can help you.

[00:26:56] If you’d like to learn more about how I can help you. I invite you to hop on a zoom session with me. It’s about 45 minutes. I’ll get a really good idea from you about what’s going on in your life. And I’ll share some ideas with you. There’s no obligation to hop on this call at all. It’s a great opportunity for you to get some insight on what you want in life, what you don’t want in life. And if what I do, it feels like a good fit.

[00:27:29] Great. If not, you’re going to get a lot of insight about your life.

[00:27:38] So I really encourage you to hop on over to my schedule. And choose a time to hop on a call with me.

[00:27:45] Besides, I just like to get to know my listeners. So, it’d just be fun to hop on a call and chat with you anyway. So go do that. Visit www.kortneyrivard.com/lets-talk. Linked up in the show notes as well. Thanks for tuning in today, friends, and I will see you next time.