Have you ever looked at something and said “wow”?
I get a lot of comments from clients and potential clients that they feel like they have a lot to be thankful for in their lives – that life is overall pretty good, but they feel like they are missing something.
The “wow” in their lives are missing.
They feel like they are going through the motions, or as I like to call it, they feel like they are on the “hamster wheel” of life. Each day seems to be “same ol’ same ol’”.
There is a feeling that they are living life for everyone but themselves
I work with mostly women, and the great majority of these women are moms So, they’ve been in this mode of checking the boxes over the great majority of their lives – finish college, get a job, find a partner, get married, buy a house, have kids, move up the ladder in their career, and juggling EVERYTHING.
Life is too short to go through it feeling “meh”!
I hear a lot of these women say that they feel guilty for wanting more in their lives – for wanting something for themselves.
So what to do about it? I want to introduce you to someone who has made a huge impact in my life. Someone who has encouraged me, by example, to look at the positives and go after what I want and need in my life to make me feel better than “meh”.
My Grandpa Swenson.
He left us in December at the age of ninety-five, but he lived a long, FULL life. My Grandpa is, and always be my number one role model of the person I want to be as I get older.
My Grandma is pretty special too. She is ninety years old and she misses my Grandpa so much. As a couple, they are also a role model for what I want in a relationship as I age.
My Grandma and Grandpa were like teenagers – even in their nineties, they would hold hands everywhere they went and were generally inseparable. My Grandma says that their secret was that they never said a mean word to each other.
They had so much love and respect for each other.
Back to my Grandpa though.
My Grandpa saw the world through a lens of wonder and amazement. He was an adventurer, a traveler and a skilled craftsman. He loved to do things with his hands.
He would cut wood on their large property for heating their home in the winter, he gardened, and he was a very talented woodworker. He would actually create lumber from the butternut trees on their property and turn it into beautiful, handcrafted furniture and other trinkets.
My Grandpa loved meeting new people and had an open mind.
My grandparents loved to travel and participated in mission trips to Ecuador for many years. They slept in dorms and traveled in dugout boats on the Amazon (not comfortable!). They traveled to the Amazon jungle and slept on the ground in tents. They participated in the natives’ tribal ritual of sharing something called “chicha”, which is fermented saliva!
I loved hearing the story of this ritual! It sounds so disgusting, but my grandparents were aware that not partaking was offensive to the tribe, so they went ahead and fit right in.
They were amazed by different cultures and different people, and I think it is so neat that when they told stories of their trips, they wouldn’t talk about the luxuries or comforts, they would talk about they people they met and the connections they made.
They traveled to have a raw experience. Not just to see the sights.
My Grandpa was cutting and splitting wood for heating their house and working in their yard and garden into his early 90s. He stayed super active. He had many health problems but just kept going as if nothing was wrong.
He was grateful to be alive.
I also loved how he was so open to all types of people. He recognized that his way wasn’t necessarily the best of only way, and I witnessed genuine respect for all people from him, even when most of us would have been closed off.
But, the thing I remember most about my Grandpa is something he would say when he was amazed at something. He would say it often.
Wow. Just WOW!
When I think of this, It’s a reminder to me to see the beauty and the uniqueness in each moment. To appreciate it and fully experience it.
So how does this relate to feeling like you’re on the hamster wheel of life, or feeling a little “meh” about your life?
I’ve learned that a lot of us feel a little stuck
In talking with a lot of women who are hovering around the big 4-0, and into their forties and early fifties, I’ve learned that a lot of us feel a little stuck.
We’ve consumed ourselves with checking the boxes and doing the things we “should” do, focusing on taking care of everyone else and feeling guilty when we spend time or money on ourselves.
Our roles of mom, wife, caretaker, career woman, etc, become our identity, and separating from that is something that isn’t easy to do.
I really think that there is a point in life where we all get a little “shove” (or maybe a BIG shove!)… where we come to this realization that we are on the hamster wheel. We wonder if this is all there is.
We thought that life would be more beautiful than this.
We go through the same old routine every day and we forget to be amazed.
We’ve been living in this cocoon that involves the roles that we’ve identified with. That comfortable place becomes more and more comfortable with each passing year and our comfort zone gets harder and harder to leave.
We get more and more afraid to dip into uncharted territory
If we stay in this place, we are stuck. We don’t challenge ourselves. We don’t grow.
The only way to move toward the edge of your comfort zone is to tackle the “meh” feeling… look at why you’re stuck. And most people are stuck because they are afraid in some way. Afraid to do something unknown.
if you’re a stay-at-home mom, maybe you are craving something more now that your kids are older and in school. But you’ve been out of the workforce for quite a while and you’re afraid to put yourself out there again… I’m so old, I’d be at the same experience level as thirty-somethings.
Or, maybe you’re working in a job where you’ve been content for quite some time, but now you crave something more challenging. But the fears of going for the thing that you really want are too real for you to go for it.
Or maybe you just want to feel better about your life – you want to feel joy and meaning. But you have no idea where to start because you are so used to that comfortable comfort zone.
The edges seem so far away and what if you fail?
So here’s where you can start – start seeing the WOW in things
Start to be amazed at life… even the smallest of things. Take time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak.
How do you do this?
The first thing you can do is commit to practicing mindfulness. Make it a point to take five minutes out of your day and just be amazed at whatever is in front of you.
If you’re at your desk at work, think about your computer. Fifty years ago, think about what computers looked like and how they functioned, as compared to today.
WOW.
Think about your ergonomically-designed chair. Think about the design and process that went into creating something as simple as an office chair.
Look at your pens. Think about the manufacturing process that is required to make that little thing that we couldn’t really live without!
Wow.
If you’re outside, smell the fresh air. Look at the sky. Be amazed at the universe and how we’re just a tiny speck in it. Look up in wonder that there is so much out there that we can’t see.
As you’re walking think about how amazing your body is, how amazing your brain is – so complex. Think about all the things that your body allows you to do.
Look at your kids. Think about how amazing it is that they were once just a microscopic egg inside your body. And now they are a living, breathing human with their own personality and their own complexities.
I invite you to play along and say WOW. Just WOW. as you observe your surroundings.
Gratitude is also something that will spur this exercise along. If you start a gratitude practice, as you think of the things you’re grateful for, don’t just write them down. Stop and really feel amazed at each one.
Wow. Just WOW.
If you like to journal, I invite you to journal on the WOWs in your life.
If you’re having a hard time finding WOW in your life, it might be time to look at why. I invite you to schedule a free call with me to do some quick exploration. This is deeper work, but you have to start somewhere.
One of the keys to a joyful life is being able to accept that there are places in your life where you need to grow and to explore the things that are holding you back. I can help you with this.
If you’re having a particularly difficult day, you can even find WOW in the seemingly bad stuff. If someone said something nasty to you… WOW, she must be having a really bad day. And then WOW. I am able to let that roll off me.
I love this idea of finding WOW in life.
For one, it keeps the memory of my Grandpa alive and front and center in my mind. I miss him so much. But, it also puts things into perspective and helps me take fewer things for granted.
So, my friend, go out into your day and find your WOW. And I’d love to hear about it!
