How Your Limiting Beliefs Are Holding You Back and What You Can Do About It

There are a lot of people that are giving up on their new year’s resolutions right about now. Why? Have you ever thought about what holds you back from getting to where you dream to be in life? Ever heard the term limiting belief?  

follow your dreams

I had never really thought about what a limiting belief was until I started learning more about life coaching and eventually hired my own coach. If you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about, a limiting belief, in the context of this article, is basically something that you believe to be true about your life, the world, other people or experiences (to name a few) that aren’t necessarily factual.

Limiting beliefs are formed through our life experiences and are often times misinterpretations of past events. We cement them in our minds when we repeatedly tell ourselves they must be true.  Holding on to limiting beliefs can stop us in our tracks from taking action. They can destroy our confidence.  They keep us playing small.

Examples of limiting beliefs are:

  • I must be a size 6 and look like a cover model to be worthy of attention and love
  • I could never do a marathon.  I just couldn’t do it.
  • Other people must approve of me for me to be worthy
  • If it’s not perfect, it’s not good enough.
  • I won’t ever have a lot of money because I don’t have a fancy degree from a fancy school
  • So and so just doesn’t like me because _____
  • I don’t have enough experience to apply for that job
  • I’m not as good as so-and-so because I didn’t win the awards she did
  • Even if someone wants to help me, it’s impolite to impose
limiting beliefs

Your turn.  Write down all the things you believe to be true about yourself and your world. Think about different areas of your life – career, money, family, relationships, fun, personal growth, spirituality, the environment you live in – are there areas of your life that you wish were better? Do you feel stuck in any of these areas? How do you feel stuck?  What do you believe about why you’re stuck?

Prepare to be amazed at how much your beliefs are holding you back from taking action to improve your life.  

Now that you have a list of your beliefs, you’re going to dismantle the ones that don’t serve you one by one.  I’m going to show you how.

First – Beliefs Are Not Facts

Just because you believe something, doesn’t mean it’s true.  You could believe that your eyes are blue all day, but if they really are brown, they’re brown – not blue.  Same thing with the stories you tell yourself.  If you can hang on to the fact that your limiting beliefs are not facts and you can actually choose to believe something different, wow.  Things are gonna change for you real quick.  

Question The Belief and Disprove It

Let’s think of the belief as a table.   The belief is the tabletop, and the pieces of evidence that support your belief are the legs.  We’re going to dismantle that table, baby!

What is it about that belief that isn’t serving you? How would life be different if you didn’t believe it?  Ask yourself if you really believe it.  What evidence do you have, or can you dig up that disproves the belief? Try to think of at least 3 things.

What Outcome Do You WANT?

When you think about your limiting belief, how do you feel now? How do you want to feel?  What kind of person do you want to be?  What outcome do you desire?  Do you have a goal?  
This is going to be your guidepost.  We’re reverse engineering here, based on the feeling we want and the life we want.

Build Up a New Belief

This is the fun part!  Now you get to choose what you actually want to believe – on purpose.  What do you want to believe about yourself, others, the world, your life?  

believe in yourself

Find evidence to support this new belief. 

Maybe you can think of times other people have said things that contradict the old belief but support the new belief.  Maybe you can think of people similar to you, that have achieved the same thing you want to achieve.  You can think of times you’ve succeeded before.  Use your imagination.  

Put the New Belief into Practice

It’s time to make changes to your life to align with your new belief.  You might need to change your thoughts or perspectives.  You might need to develop some new habits or alter your environment.     

It’s normal for this to take a while.  Remember, you’ve been believing these limiting beliefs for a long time!  Be gentle on yourself and know that sometimes you’re going to revert to your old ways.  Commit to being aware of that and know this is a process.  A journey.  

Changing limiting beliefs is not a piece of cake by any stretch. You will need to practice awareness, stay mindful, and change the way you think.  It takes a while, and it’s ongoing work.  As you live your life, you may find yourself unconsciously adopting new limiting beliefs, or falling back into believing the same old ones.  It’s an ongoing process, so we just need to commit to ongoing awareness and change!

By the way, sometimes journaling helps me get clear on what I love about my life and what I might want to improve.  Journaling can also help you find clarity on what your limiting beliefs are and what you want to believe on purpose.  You can find a set of FREE journal prompts to get you started!

free journal prompts

I’d love to hear about your limiting beliefs and what your thoughts are about changing them to beliefs that better serve you.  Comment below or head on over to FACEBOOK and leave your thoughts.  

Kortney Rivard

Oh hey there!

I’m Kortney and I help brave, passionate women just like you love all of who you are so you can stop playing small and live your life like you were meant to – as a confident, badass empowered woman on an amazing adventure.

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