Over 90% of women don’t like their bodies.

On this episode of Real, Brave, & Unstoppable I’m talking about some things you can do to change that. I’m talking about body image and how you can learn to accept what you’ve got.

After all, you are way more than just a body.

Your body is just a container to give your soul a ride during your time on this planet. But your body has nothing at all to do with your worth. You are so much more than that!

If you’re someone who doesn’t love your body, here’s what I recommend: just get to feeling neutral about it first.

Neutral is easier. And it’s actually a great place to be, and here’s why: When you are at a place of neutrality with your body, you’re not attached to it being a certain way. That means that you’re not going to freak out if you’re a few pounds heavier than you used to be, and you’re not going to cling to being a thinner shape. It means you’re fine if you have lots of muscle, but you’re also fine if you’re a little soft.

You’re not attached to your body being any which way when you’re neutral.

Ok, ok, I hear you saying that’s really easy to SAY, Kortney. But there’s no way I can stop wishing my body was a certain way.

I get it. You know, most women I talk to would actually rather get help losing weight or getting in better shape than get help accepting themselves just the way they are. They’re afraid that if they accept neutral that their bodies will go to hell, or “run away and get fat on them”.

Read that again:

Most women I talk to would rather get help losing weight or getting in better shape than get help accepting themselves just the way they are.

How does that make you feel? I think, while I get it, it sounds absolutely ridiculous. Why do we do this to ourselves when we are SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST A BODY?

So you can you love your body? How can you love what you’ve got?

Or, how can you at least get to neutral?

There are many things I’ve done to work on this. And don’t get me wrong – I think it’s sad that we are so hard on our bodies, but I also get that it is hard to love them. Here are a few of the things that have been helpful for me:

Gratitude

Focus on what your body does for you. It is pretty freaking amazing, after all. For example, I’m a runner and I love running. Do I love how my legs look? Not really. But, I’ve become quite good (and maybe it’s because I’m getting older!) at thanking my legs for allowing me to keep running. There are a lot of women my age who have given up on running because it hurts their body too much. And there are people who have injuries or handicaps that can’t use their legs for anything strenuous at all.

Does it sound cliche? Maybe. But it does work. And what’s more, the more you focus on gratitude, the easier it is to draw on when you need it.

Mindfulness

Let’s face it. Most of us walk around this life without really taking the time to be where we are at any given moment.

By taking the time to get present, I’m able to connect with my higher self. This is the true me – the part of me that knows I am so much more than just a body.

Be Kind to Yourself

Several years ago, as I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, berating my body for not measuring up to the crazy standards I had for it, I had a revelation.

I noticed how nasty my self-talk was, and it occurred to me that I would never speak to my daughter that way. And I would be devastated if I knew that she was talking to herself in the same way.

That day, I committed to working on treating myself with kindness. To talking to myself like I’d talk to someone I deeply love and care about.

This matters. A LOT.

The Four Questions

I’m a huge fan of “The Work” of Byron Katie. “The Work” consists of four questions that work beautifully when it comes to working on your body image.

Here’s how the four questions work:

When you have a thought, such as, I’m fat, you ask yourself the following questions:

1 – Is it true?
Using the example of I am fat, is that true?

A lot of us that are really hard on ourselves, and thus have a hard time accepting our bodies, might say yes. So the next step is to ask,

2 – Is it REALLY true? As in you can prove it in a court of law, beyond a reasonable doubt?

Using our example of, I am fat, this is totally subjective, and there’s no way it can be proven in a court of law beyond a reasonable doubt. There just isn’t.

Don’t try to argue with me. I’m serious!

At this point, you’re probably feeling like you’ve shaken up things a little bit, so you go to the next question:

3 – Is there a stress-free reason to keep this thought?

Even if you decide to wiggle out of question 2, this question usually calls you out in a big way. In any case, using the example of I am fat, is there a stress-free reason to keep that thought?

Absolutely not, and if you say yes, sister, we need to talk!

4 – Who would you be without this thought?

This is my favorite question because it is so free and expansive. If you didn’t ever think I am fat, who would you get to be?

How free would you feel? What other juicy stuff would you be able to focus your attention on that you are wasting on an unhelpful thought like I am fat?

Yeah, I thought so. It would be pretty awesome to not ever have to worry about that thought.

Concluding Thoughts

This is hard work, ladies. I get it. But we owe it to ourselves, our daughters, friends, the younger generation, and more to change the narrative we have about our bodies and our worth.

You are more than just a body. Way, way more.

So start showing up that way.

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You’re not going to want to miss this!

I have a brand new program, just in time to get you set up to ENJOY the holidays. It all starts with tapping into your authentic self and loving her up!

Imagine going through the holidays being able to:

• Prioritize what actually needs to get done
• Set boundaries and say no when it compromises your own well-being
• Focus on what really matters
• Show up for yourself so you can enjoy the last couple of months of the year.

Here’s how it works:

Week 1: 90-minute kickoff call
We’ll dig into your current patterns and what doesn’t feel good. We’ll dive into at least one and start to work on shifting how you show up for yourself.

Weeks 2 and 3: 45-minute coaching sessions
We’ll continue work from the first session, completing that energy shift in how you show up and work on integrating this amazing transformation into your life. In other words, making it a habit that is a part of you and the accountability you need to make that happen.

Week 4: 60-minute Celebration and completion call
Here we’ll wrap up any unfinished business and create intentions for you to move forward into your life with this new way of being. You’ll have so much insight into where else you’re not showing up for yourself as well as a framework for how to work this same process with other patterns!

Schedule a call to learn more! Click HERE.