It’s been a very long time since I’ve written in this blog! I wanted to start writing again because I was inspired to start a personal project that I think might interest you. It’s a project inspired by the book The Happiness Project.
Like so many of the people I work with and hear from, I, too, am going through a life transition! The 40s and 50s are full of change and surprises. Our kids are growing up, and these relationships change. Retirement is in sight, and there are often fears about money, or even our identity, as we reach that milestone. Family relationships change. Our relationship to time changes as it starts to hit home that time really does eventually run out for all of us. Personally, this sense of time brings up a bit of grief over the life I thought I’d have at this stage, and that things didn’t turn out how I wanted them to.
Don’t get me wrong. I like my life. I like me. I’m content with where I am in this moment, and I’m confident in my ability to figure out where I’m going as I take those steps. These are not things I dwell on–I accept them and acknowledge how they feel. And I also ask myself what’s within my control–where do I want to go from here? Really, there is so much possibility in spaces like this. At least, that’s the way I choose to look at it.
A Case of the Mehs
So, where to go from here?
That question can feel overwhelming if we don’t have some way of breaking it down.
One of my favorite books is The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. The book talks about tuning into core desired feelings when setting goals. I love this concept because ultimately, the reason we want to do things is because of the way we think we’ll feel when we do it.
So, back to the question where to go from here?
Well, let’s start with the end in mind.
I want to feel ALIVE.
I don’t want to go through my life just trying to get by in survival mode. I want to feel energized and motivated. Curious and inspired. I want freedom – to feel light, free, and always moving forward with a passion and zest for life (even when things are hard).
Recently, after talking to several new clients who were feeling stuck in survival mode, burnout, overwhelm, and/or exhaustion, I noticed that I had a little case of the “meh-s” as well. A bit of burnout, less energy, more of a sense of going through the motions. This is always a “warning sign” to me, so I started to reflect on why.
A couple of things stood out.
First, I noticed that my mind is focusing a lot on what I don’t have, or really, what I was afraid I would never have. Not fixated, but I noticed a sense of defeat and discouragement.
Next, I noticed that I have a lot of mental clutter–in part due to physical stuff in my house, but I think the bigger part of this is due to taking in big amounts of information (I am always reading and learning about new things) and trying to work on improving a lot of different things in my life at once. Also, a side note about me is that when I start to work on improving things or learning something new, I tend to dive in headfirst, and things get complicated really fast.
I also noticed a lack of presence. I hadn’t been truly engaged with my NOW… finding little things that were beautiful or good or inspiring in each moment. Super-related to the first thing I mentioned.
So, I got really curious about the 2nd thing I mentioned about mental clutter. Several years ago, when I was a coach at OrangeTheory, a few really sweet members gifted me the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I never really finished the book, but I recently noticed it on my shelf calling to me, so I picked it back up.
An A-ha Moment
I had a huge a-ha moment.
I’m a multi-passionate. A multipassionate is someone who has a wide variety of interests and passions across diverse fields. Sometimes we struggle because the inherent curiosity and drive to learn and try new things can present challenges like feeling scattered, unfocused or misunderstood.
As I was reading The Happiness Project, it occurred to me that I was doing this with my own well-being. I was trying to work on improving too many things in my life at once. I was scattering my efforts, only to get frustrated with my lack of focus and progress. I realized that I could really benefit from doing something like The Happiness Project in my own life. A project like this could help me create intention and focus around a single part of my life as opposed to tackling everything at once. Part of embracing the multipassionate life is to have systems in place to manage all of my interests as well as a way to integrate them in a way that helps me focus on what truly matters.
Staying out of survival mode.
Thriving.
Living life instead of it living me.
Freedom.
Aliveness.
So, after all of this analysis and reflection, an idea for my own project was born.
The Freedom & Aliveness Project
The Aliveness Project. Or, the Freedom Project. A combination of both, perhaps.
My aim here is to look at what parts of my life seem like they really help me create a sense of freedom and aliveness. This project will be a 12-month-long endeavor, with a focus on a different area each month. I’m going to talk about all of the different areas I chose, but first, I want to share about the area I chose for October (month 1).
I chose to start with energy.
If I think of my body like a car, it needs to be well-cared for to go places without breaking down or running out of gas. It needs to perform well so that I can do the things I do. Our bodies are what allow us to move about and experience the world. They’re our cars. So, it makes sense that taking care of the machine gives it the energy to do this. Taking care of our bodies gives us energy. This is one of the foundational pieces to getting out of survival mode.
Think about it:
- When we don’t eat food that fuels us–when we eat junk food or an unbalanced diet–we might feel sluggish.
- When you don’t get enough sleep, you’re not as able to keep an optimistic mindset or handle stress effectively. Our bodies can break down. We might even get sick. Our relationships can suffer.
- When we don’t give ourselves downtime, we never have a chance to feel refreshed. We’re not able to show up as well for ourselves or others.
- If we don’t move our bodies, we get stiff. It exacerbates the energy problem.
These are reasons I chose to start with energy–the BODY pillar in my 3-pillar framework.
How does this project work?
Each month, I’ll focus on a different area or category. The goal is to look at what I can do within this specific realm to contribute to the sense of freedom and aliveness. How might I be able to create freedom and aliveness in my relationship with food, for example? Or exercise?
Energy is Everything
As I started to plan my “energy month”, I asked myself, “What are the biggest factors for ME when it comes to having more energy, and less overwhelm/burnout/exhaustion”?
I identified a few things:
Quality Fuel and Hydration
This is the gas in the tank. The oil for the engine. For me, I know that I feel waaaay better when I consume adequate amounts of protein. My body feels less stiff, and my joints feel more lubricated. I feel less tired, stronger, and more powerful. I also know that I feel better when I limit my alcohol intake and curb mindless munching.
Movement and Exercise
I know that regular exercise helps me have a better outlook and more energy. This is already a priority for me in my life, but there are a few things I want to get more specific about:
First, getting back on track with my strength program, which is focused on being able to do at least one bodyweight pull-up. I want to be better about tracking weekly volume so I can be more strategic with the progressive overload required to make progress.
Next, I want to incorporate more stretching and mobility work into my life, as well as more yoga.
Finally, I’ve always seen exercise as a way to negate calories. I don’t want to have that mentality anymore. It is not freedom-giving at all. I feel better when I have a good relationship with food – an intuitive one, a practical one. I want food to be my friend – it’s the fuel that makes my “car” go.
Rest, Recovery, and Self-Care
I’m not always good at slowing down and resting, or doing just one thing. I want to:
- Listen to my body more often. Tune in to give it more of what it needs.
- Incorporate one act of self-care into my day, every day, and be present in doing it (note: a self-care act does not need to be elaborate. It might be sitting down for 5 minutes to listen to calming music or even taking a relaxing walk around the block)
- Get to bed a little earlier, and make better use of my time between 9 and 10 pm to read a book, journal, or meditate.
Physical and Mental Clutter
I mentioned my huge information intake problem. I also notice that I feel way more scattered and stressed when my physical space is cluttered. So, I will focus on:
- Decluttering for 10 minutes each day. Just a quick tidy up
- Use the “1-minute rule” (I think I read about this in The Happiness Project) – if something will take a minute or less, just do it… NOW.
- Wake up with an intention or goal for the day
Freedom Project Categories
Here is a list of the categories I’m planning to focus on during the next 12 months:
- October: energy and vitality
- November: relationships–friendships and romantic connections
- December: mindfulness
- January: money freedom
- February: Strength (mental, physical; resilience, confidence)
- March: Home environment
- April: Fun and adventure
- May: Family
- June: Work, focus, purpose
- July: Spirituality
- August: Knowledge, learning
- September: Joy, integrating the 3 pillars and my findings into one
Join me. You can follow along and/or participate!
Finally, I want to invite YOU to follow along and, better yet, participate in this project with me. This kind of stuff is so much better together.
Ways to follow the project and engage:
- This blog (be sure to leave comments)
- My podcast Real, Brave, & Unstoppable
- My email community: sign up in one of the following ways:
- Social media – I’m most active on Insta (@kortney.a.rivard) and Facebook (@kortneyrivardwellnesscoaching)
